A small selection
Son: about 2 years and a half old. Mother and father: two academics of undefined age (“don’t ask to a lady how old she is!”, how they put it in Italy; I will apply the same rule to my husband, in this case)
« Mammi », why is papa at work ?
‘Cause he needs to earn money to buy things.
For example, mozzarella?
Yes, that’s important. Papa works to buy mozzarella.
And why does he stay in the office all day long? I mean, do you need a lot of money just to buy some mozzarella??
“Why are you spitting it out? (standpoint) It’s Grana cheese! (argument based on the universally acknowledged endoxon: Grana cheese is tasty”
“Mammi”, are you going to the mums’ playground, the university?
Husband: “wife, I am going”.
Son: Why has he gone to heaven?
Mum: you know, everybody goes to heaven at a certain point. Everyone of us.
Son: I see. But I need to know why.
On wooden ceilings
Who told you?
The grandfather did. Then they cut the tree and made the ceiling.
And what was our house doing when there was a tree on the top of it instead of a ceiling?
I have a cannon “mammi”, now I will shoot you!
The battle starts.
Are you ok?
No, I am not. I am full of holes now.
And are you feeling well?
Not quite. I think I am dead.
Can you cook while you are dead?
No, I suppose I can’t. People do not do things while they are dead, unfortunately.
Let me help you…
Recent metaphors and similes (produced this week).
(1) < “Mammi” goes to pick him up at the nursery. She waits out of the door, which is a decorated opaque glass>.
You know “mammi”, I have seen you out of the door. You looked like a BIG OMELETTE
(2) Young boy drinks water from a bottle that had stayed for some time out of the fridge. It is a very hot day. The water is warm
“mammi”: Oh sorry, it is warm, let me change it!
Noooooooo, I like it, IT IS LIKE HAVING THE SUN IN MY GLASS